Saturday, January 15, 2011

A Delightfully Perfect Day

Okay, so I'm finally entering the world of blogging.  After a couple of "blog" type notes posted onto my Facebook profile, I thought to myself - hey, start a blog.  Not only is it therapeutic for me, but miraculously enough there are actually people out there who show interest in what I have to say.  Who would've thought? 

This being my first official blog, I feel it's only right to inform you of what lies at the foundation of most of my thoughts: God.  A touchy subject for some, He will probably in some form or fashion be mentioned in most, if not all, of my posts. For that, I make no apologies, but it's not that I'm trying to make anyone uncomfortable.  I welcome people from all schools of belief to read and comment on my blogs. It's what keeps things interesting, right?  That being said, let me tell you a little bit about how this delightfully perfect day came to be. 


I broke my toe only a few days ago and since then I've been in a whirlpool of thoughts, emotions, and feelings.  "Over a stupid broken toe?" you may wonder.  Well....yes, over a stupid broken toe!  It's amazing really, the impact this injury has had on my life in just the last few days.  Maybe it's because I haven't had the ability to do anything but sit around and think?  While normally I would say it's dangerous for me to get alone with my thoughts, it turns out that I have a quite productive thought life.  Or, at least I can, and today I decided to have just that - a productive thought life. 

Once the pain from my broken toe subsided, I became engulfed in a joyous euphoria.  "Rest and relaxation, here I come," I thought.  Well, less than 24 hours later, it hit me like a ton of bricks what I could no longer do while in this injured state.  Husband and son preparing to go on an evening walk, I realized at that moment that it would be nearly six to eight weeks before I was in tip top condition to join them.   (Our walks consist of challenging rock climbing type of adventures if given the choice).  Near our house is a mountainous hill that I had climbed the night before.  Once at the top a person can see the most beautiful sunset and city lights below.  It is absolutely beautiful and the climb to the top is breathtaking - literally.  It's one of those climbs where you find yourself nearly crawling on your belly because of how far foward you lean to take a step.  Anyway, I was left alone with my thoughts that night and realized some pretty profound things about myself, namely how much I complain.  That little epiphany was enough to make me want to stop thinking.  Who wants to come to self-realizations that involve the discovery of flaw?  Well, I pushed past the discomfort that realization brought and continued to think.

I continued in this "thoughtful" manner for the next couple of days but because of another incident that happened during that time, I realized that all the prgroess I was making on my road to self-improvement was overshadowed by a strife that wouldn't stop.  To be clear on the meaning of "strife," the Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as "bitter, sometimes violent conflict or dissension."  So, that was me.  Identifying character flaws and determining to change them, all the while stewing in strife.  Is that possible? Apparently so.  So, I turned to my trusty Bible.  "God, what shall I do?" I asked. Well, if you're familiar with how God works, He will always answer you.  Sometimes it comes as a swift and clear answer, while other times we may not get an answer until many years have passed.  Fortunately for me, I received an answer promptly.  "LET IT GO," I came across in bold, all-caps print as I read through a random devotional.  "Right on, God.  I'll get to it," my thoughts dripped with sarcasm.  I mean, it's easy to say we're going to let something go, but actually letting something go can prove to be quite challenging.  I had been telling myself to "let go" of all the strife for an entire day, if not more yet there it remained.   "I'm letting go, for crying out loud!" I thought. 

Well, I learned something throughout this.  No one just let's go and really succeeds in letting go - not at first anyway.  It turns out that letting go is something we learn how to do.  If you're someone who has practiced this for many years, you're probably ten steps ahead of me, but it's a new process for me and I'm apparently still in spiritual diapers.  I thank God though that He is showing me it's something I need to start doing and do until I've mastered it.  I meditated a lot yesterday after I came across some pretty direct answers from God concerning this matter.  The "LET IT GO" tidbit was only one of several responses that were brought before my eyes to read. When that wasn't enough and I was still sarcastically retorting to God, He brought a few more things in front of me to read.  Finally, I got it.  Now, I just get to put application of letting it go into practice.  It's harder than you think, really.  Sometimes it's easier than others, but when it's really hard for you to do, just know that the payoff will be that much sweeter. 

I woke up this morning groggy and still in strife.  Shortly after waking, Sam opened the window in our bedroom and let the fresh air flow through the room.  I inhaled the beauty of this day that God has given me and realized in that moment - nothing is worth hanging onto in this life if it prevents us from walking in love every second of the day. There is simply too much to live for and enjoy. The minute I actually smelled the fragrance of grass, trees, and flowers from outside I knew.  I knew that THAT is what my thoughts were supposed to be dwelling on. (Phillipians 4:8)  I dragged my broken toe, and shaggy haired-self outside, sat in the sunshine, and realized that today is a delightfully perfect day - and I've let go.

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