Friday, January 21, 2011

The Death of a Paycheck

As I sipped my coffee this morning, I waited in an uncharacteristically patient manner on God to tell me what to write for today's blog post. Out of the cluttered closet that is my mind came the memory of a recent job opportunity that I passed up. I don't know what made me think of it...God, I suppose. Well, the neat thing about this incident in my life is that its one of the few times I know I did the right thing - even though at the time it seemed all wrong.

A brief look into my work history will find my last job to have ended in 2009. Aside from a two to three hour commute through the outskirts of L.A., it was a great job. I made good money for a twenty something year old chick and I excelled in my work. Oh, and for a year out of my eighteen months with the company, I got to work from home. Life was pretty good. Well, during the last few months of my time with them, they did the unthinkable and asked me to start commuting. Though I have no problem with traffic now, I could barely stand it then. If it weren't for the pastors speaking to me from the radio I played while driving, I can't promise that I wouldn't have been giving every other driver totally inappropriate hand gestures. It was bad. I would come home crying from frustration and then spend the remainder of the night twiddling my thumbs in the insufferable realms of insomnia. Because of the traffic factor and toll of insomnia on my already fatigued brain, the lay off that came in October of 2009 was a welcome change of pace.

So, over the course of 2010, I searched for jobs closer to home. Nothing came up so I decided God was moving too slowly for my taste, and I enrolled into nursing school. For more information on that chapter of my life, keep eyes peeled and ears open for my soon to be published book titled, Just Breathe. Bottom line? Nursing wasn't my cup of tea. Back to the drawing board and trying to answer the perpetual question of "What do I want to be when I grow up?" Well, it turns out that through the utter sense of failure I felt after dropping out of nursing school, I finally found the answer. I realized what it was God was wanting me to do, and I got busy doing it. I wrote another book, and will now devote my life to writing more and knowing Him better. Sounds easy enough, right?

Well, as a test of my devotion to Him and the call He has placed on my life, an exciting and high paying job opportunity presented itself to me not long ago. Well, well, well....what a predicament I was in. When I was told how much the job paid, I instantly told my prospective employer I would be right in for a meeting. Even as the words came from my mouth, I felt completely wrong. "Would You stop, God?" I nagged. I even started trying to convince myself that it was God who brought this awesome opportunity before me. Well, I was right about that. He did bring it before me, but not for the reasons I was so desperately trying to rationalize. He was testing me. Would I take the job that paid a salary higher than I'd ever known and stop writing? Or, would I stay put and continue in what I knew was His intended plan for my life? "Can't I do both?" I whined. The answer was no. Suddenly, I remembered something I heard months earlier. It was the story of a man who declined a promotion at work because had he accepted it, he wouldn't have had the time to fulfill God's true call on His life. I was impressed by the man's blind faith and devotion to God, but I didn't see that type of situation ever happening to me. I didn't even know at that time what my calling was, but I remember thinking "God, if that ever happens to me, help me to be as faithful as he is." Well, months later I was given a similar choice to make. Had I taken that job, I wouldn't have finished my last book and I wouldn't be writing in a blog. I would see my son for only a couple of hours a day and on weekends, and I definitely wouldn't have much time for God. I would have a lot more money, but what else?

Now, let's look at what I did choose. I chose to stay close to God and keep writing even though I've had absolutely no monetary success thus far. I chose to trust God in rewarding me for my faithfulness, and I chose to believe in what I couldn't yet see. I chose to walk in faith. It was a little painful to walk away and let the death of a healthy paycheck be, but within minutes I knew I had passed the test God set me up to take. He didn't test me to find out for Himself what I would choose; He already knew. He did it to show me what I would choose. Any fleshly pain I felt from walking away has since been replaced with a quiet peace and joy in knowing I chose Him. I haven't yet seen the monetary fruits of my labor in writing, but I know He hasn't called me into something that will fail. Jeremiah 29:11 is a promise of hope directly from God. "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

May everyone have a superbly blessed day and step confidently into your own promising future!


  1. Your blogs always inspire me and make my day better

  2. Well, that is fantastic news! I'm glad to hear it and I thank you for leaving a comment! Yours is my first one! Everyone else, I invite you to also leave comments, thoughts, or opinions!