Thursday, February 3, 2011

Castle on the Hill

Well, I didn't intend on writing two blog entries today, but I've been inspired.  Look out.  I guess God is giving me double inspiration today since yesterday I had none. This particular entry begins on a day several weeks ago, but has only just now come full circle in my cluttered mind.  In recent weeks, I've been going out on bike rides with our son late afternoon/early evening.  I find that it's a beautiful time of day and with almost every corner I turn, I'm warmed by the rays of a setting sun.  The sun shining brightly on my face makes me so intently aware of God's presence in my life.  I cannot even begin to describe how much I love the very minute in time of turning a corner and emerging from shade into the warm, bright rays of sun.  It still hasn't stopped taking my breath away and I pray that it never does.  Well, as for this breathtaking bike ride, Ashton and I ride within the boundaries of our own neighborhood.  It's not that I wouldn't venture out, but where we live is abounding in hills.  I'm not completely out of shape, but until a few weeks ago when I bought this bike, I hadn't been on one in over 15 years at least. My first attempt up one of our hills was no doubt comical for those passing by.  In the words of Puss on Shrek Everafter, I looked "redonkulous."  I've since decided that I like riding on flat land, but the views within these hills are one of my favorite parts of our ride - especially the view of a castle on the hill....

For the majority of my life, I've been determined to succeed and become prosperous.  Well, I'm almost 31 and as far as monetary success goes, I've had only a short stint in high dollar money making - and it wasn't even that high.  Additionally, since then I've technically succeeded at nothing at all - at least in the natural.  I'm a nursing school dropout (I'm hearing Grease's "beauty school dropout" song in my head), with a master's degree in psychology that has been rendered useless by the licensing board in California, and my only published book is utterly unknown.  Oh, and I'm unemployed.  Sounds pretty terrible when it's put out there, but the beauty of it all is that amidst the failure of my best laid plans, I found God's true calling on my life. 

Well, how does this tie into my bike rides with our son?  With each trip around our neighborhood, we reach a certain place where when you look up, you see what I call the castle on the hill.  The picture I've included doesn't do it justice or even really reveal it's majestic architecture.  It is truly my favorite house among the many that encircle our little condo down below.  After we start riding, I look forward to seeing it when I reach that certain point where it becomes visible.  It's mysterious, somewhat dark and old-fashioned, and it just commands authority over the surrounding homes.  "I want to live in a house like that someday," I've often said as I wonder what it looks like inside.  The creative corners of my mind have even already decorated it in sangria red, raw umber, and cherry wood furniture as majestic as the outside walls. 

As I silently communicated with God while I looked up at that house, I started wondering if it was wrong for me to want that for myself.  I don't want to want for anything.  I don't want to need material possessions to make me happy.  I don't want to have to have the biggest house or the nicest car, but there are times when I do want these things.  What I realized as I stared up at that house is this - yeah, I would kind of love to have that house, but I'm okay if I never have it.  Why?  Because I want God more.  Don't feel guilty if you have your own "castle on the hill" that you look at and mentally design.  God doesn't want you to think small, but as you start thinking big - just make sure He's the biggest thought in your mind. 

Here's to keeping God first in our minds!  I hope everyone has a great night and sound sleep! Good night everyone!

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