Have you ever struggled with sin? Ever found it difficult to stop
behaving in a certain way that you knew wasn't good for you? Perhaps you
drink too much and want to stop, but find yourself still pouring that
glass at the end of the day. Maybe it's a sexual behavior and you're
finding pleasure in promiscuity only to have it give way to feelings of
guilt and shame when it's over. Pornography? You want to stop watching,
but the strength of what you see pulls you in one more time. Addicted
to stealing? The rush you get is one from which you want to be free, but
you haven't been able to break that chain. We've all got something and
from mid-2015 to January of this year when I found out I was pregnant
with my daughter, I experienced self-inflicted heartache and struggle
on an unprecedented level. Like Jacob, who wrestled with God (
Genesis 32:22-32), I regularly fought with God, myself, and others, and like Jonah, who ran from the call of God (
Jonah 1:3),
I, likewise, fled the Lord's summons. I stepped deep into pits of my
own sin and rebellion, and I watched as my family unit disintegrated
under the tumultuous battle between good and evil, righteousness and
wickedness. Recently, however, I have come to realize that despite the
chaos and storms raging around and within, even when I am against me,
God is still
always for me (
Romans 8:31).
