Thursday, September 15, 2011

Life Choices

I've been feeling relatively uninspired over the last couple of days, so I asked God to give me inspiration.  What I got was a really rough day, or so I thought.  I woke up yesterday morning to the smell of uncovered cat litter, coffee that didn't turn on, and my newest cuddly friend, Simba, chewing on my finger.  "Good morning to You, too, Father," I said still half asleep. I had a lot to get done yesterday, but the day's biggest events were Ashton's first Cub Scouts pack meeting at 6:00 and the commencement of the women's Bible Study at my church at 6:30.  Because we only have one car and I wasn't willing to miss the first night of this season's study, Sam and I agreed over a week ago that I would drop him and Ashton off for the pack meeting at 6:00, drive from there to my Bible Study which was in different city, and then be back in time to pick them up around 8:00. It would be tight, but as long as we left on time it could be done. For days I had been reminding my nortoriously late husband that he needed to wrap up his work in time to be home by at least 5:30.  "I'll be there," he reassured me in a tone that sounded suspiciously exasperated.  "You have to be on time," I said again in my most threatening voice. Without even having to say it, I knew "or else" was emanating from my stern expression.  He and I both knew that I would make him pay if he was late, or God forbid made me miss my Bible Study.  How "Christian" of me, right?  Well, he was late...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Objects in the Rear View Mirror

Around early June of this year I began struggling with my faith in new and unfamiliar ways.  As my posts from that time and thereafter reflect, I was caught in the middle of feelings and emotions that I hadn't before experienced, at least not since I've been walking with God.  Now into September, I've not only come through the challenges of the past few months, but I've also realized that the problem facing me was never my circumstances; it was me.  Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to a place inside of my mind and heart where I was never meant to go or stay - my past.  Unable to break free from chains I didn't even know were still holding me back, I momentarily gave in to the seductive luring of memories that swept through my mind. Though my physical body never left home, my heart was a fleeting captive to the images and objects in my own rear view mirror.